Thursday, June 16, 2016

Being fair

TV host (female) says as parting shot on her show this morning that she gives kudos, in view of the upcoming Father's Day celebration, to mothers who give happiness to their husbands because they take care of the husbands, cook for them, and give them children. 

The remarks of the TV host (who is relatively newly married and recently gave birth to their first born) left me fidgety. I myself am not married and has no kids, but with the host's remarks, I felt for the married women who do not cook or cannot cook (because they lack cooking skills or they lack time to cook, etc.); I felt for the married women (and their husbands) who do not have children because of various reasons, such as they simply do not want to have kids or they cannot bear kids. The TV host's remarks seem to say that these women (those who cannot cook or have not given given birth) do not make their husbands happy. The remarks are uncalled for, disrespectful, and discriminatory.

Women are not required nor should be required to be the ones doing the cooking and other household work. Nor should they be the ones required to just be the ones doing these chores. They are called "household work," not "women's work." The men must do their share of the household work. Especially for married couples, household work should be a joint undertaking, and they should also do joint parenting if they have a kid. That is gender equality.

Society should not also impose that married couples should have kids. Society should not automatically think that married couples who do not have kids are not happy. Society should not immediately judge that a man is not happy if his wife has not given birth. If a married couple does not have a kid, they should be respected for that--whether it is a decision they had to make or for medical reasons. Couples get so much pressure from a society that always asks when they are going to have a child, or why they do not have a child. 

It is in the same vein when society pressures single men and women by always asking when they are getting married, or why they are not married. Cannot single men and women be just as they are--single--whether as a result of a decision made or of circumstance? They certainly do not deserve to be questioned or pressured on their status, much more if the ones asking are themselves having troubled marriages or even separated.  Hahah!  And society must also remember that marriage--if a person does decide to get married or eventually is led by circumstance to marriage--can always come at any age. (Not having kids at a certain "later" age for women should not also be made an issue as this can also be a result of a decision made by the person. And, besides, a childless couple can always decide to adopt. There are many orphans out there who yearn to and deserve to have their own families.)



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